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AIVILOI am waiting for you, with or without you... February 24 chillingI'm wishing you the best
Pray that you are blessed
Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness
I'm not going to compromise this time
Cause my mama taught me better than that!
February 21 客家山歌 今天不知道为什么突然想起小时候，外公外婆教我唱客家山歌。想起外公最喜欢的那首凄美的“入山看到藤缠树”。想起寺庙前那对生死树......
入山看到藤缠树，
出山看到树缠藤，
树死藤生缠到死，
藤死树生死也缠。
难道在爱情上，树比人更单纯，更坚定，更执著？
February 17 InterpretationYou talk about me talk about you, and everything I do like it's nothing. And the words are so easy. This is not about emotion. I don't need a reason not to care what you said or what happened in the end. This is only my interpretation. Does it really matter? If half of what u said it's true, and half what I didn't do, it could be diiferent. If we forget all the things we know, do we have somewhere else to go?
hm...If u don't understnad, no big deal.It's only my interpretation. To u, maybe it just doesn't make sense. February 15 转帖， Mandy被我借用一下啊！2月14日
情人节,你们在纠结什么?小的时候喜欢无病呻吟,好像没有情人的情人节好像是件很严重同时让人感伤的事
但今年这个仍旧没有情人的情人节好像是目前为止最让我有幸福感的一次
早上去买了爸爸想买很久的国学大师的讲座,
我不想说大师骗钱,但是5张DVD四百八还是五百八的价格真是让我体会什么叫书中自有黄金屋
买完碟之后和妈妈各收获一条LOVE&LOVE的链子
中午回家休整之后原计划去洲际酒店吃自助餐
平时234一位的自助餐今天加了100块,还不包括10%的服务费..就这种价位居然还订满座了!
深圳是没受到经济危机的影响还是怎么的??最后去了丹桂轩.后续就是在山姆及周围逛了逛,也没什么特别的
但我还是很开心。Family day那种开心。全家都很满足的感觉。
这个情人节,大家究竟在纠结什么?
A同学说,每逢佳节揪一揪,难道纠纠更健康?或许你还没能从过去中走出来吧,如果真的走出来了,纠纠又何必
B同学说,我有情人也没得陪我过阿~我说,一年12个月,他都陪了你11个月,我12个月都没情人哎.难道你真的愿意用11个月换情人节一天？
今天在看大师DVD的时候,有一段说到,要保持喜悦心
确实是要摆正心态,有情人就请好好过,好好保持.没情人,自有开心的法子
而且事实上我觉得没有情人是非常..爽的一件事.我这么没有创意的人,要我想圣诞节、生日、情人节..还有一堆节的礼物.真是强人所难嘛.
拍拖,是一门技术更是一门艺术.太久不练习,我已经生疏了. February 05 LoveLove is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts , always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. February 03 miss the sun 我胆小地对自己说 就是这样吗 是你眼里的太阳 也是你影子里的悲伤 我问我 这世界是否一如往常 让我照耀你 安息的时光 你是我 小心维护的梦 我疲倦地享受着 谁也无法代替你的光芒 我是我 一碰就碎的太阳 我热切地希望 能在消失之前得到信仰 January 29 home sweet home 来了三年，还没有像现在那么想家过。
想念夜深时，音箱里飘缈的Debussy，伴着从爸爸的茶杯里升腾出来的热气，与时间一同消散。
想念妈妈散落在枕头上，衣柜里的香水味。
想念外公外婆的一言一语，让我觉得青春是不会随着时间而流逝的。
想念年初三广州六七十人的团拜，那样的热闹......一年里最热闹的日子……
虽然我不喜欢深圳的吵杂，但是我依然是如此的想念。
通往盐田的盘山公路两旁的绿。如果这时恰逢下着小雨......啪啪打在车窗上的雨声，还有从收音机里淌出的萨逖谧静的钢琴曲声，牵着你的灵魂从后脑勺升腾起来。
从sheraton的落地玻璃窗静静的看着海浪拍打着沙滩......哗哗的浪声，若有若无。阳光晒在身上，生活是如此慵懒，像猫一样。^_^
家，不是一栋房子。是一种让人觉得安心惬意的感觉。是那些鼻腔深处的嗅觉记忆，流淌过指尖的质感，萦绕在耳边的声响。
为了守护这一切，我不遗余力......
January 23 放空放空时，人总想起很多奇奇怪怪的东西，this is what bump into my head:
1.关于杜普蕾的电影 Jackie and Hilary（无情荒地有情天）
记录了大提琴家杜普蕾的一生。其中有两个镜头让我记忆尤其深刻，当杜普兰发现被丈夫欺骗觉得被生活抛弃的时候，决定不再拉琴。于是把大提琴放在阳台上，当时屋外正下着大雪，她像这样结束她那把心爱的大提琴的生命。当她躺在床上不停的哭泣，发现除了琴和音乐，她一无所有。于是她把琴及时从阳台上拯救回来。躺着，抱着提琴放声痛哭。她说：
对不起，我永远都不会离开你......
音乐陪她走完了她短暂而疯狂的一生......影片的结尾，在弥留之际，她会想起当年与姐姐在沙滩上奔跑，她看到幼年的自己在沙滩上不停的寻找什么，于是她就问：girl, what are u looking for? 幼年的自己笑着对她说：Nothing...
寻寻觅觅，不停徘徊，杜普蕾找到了她的依托，埃尔加的大提琴协奏曲凝聚了她一生所有的泪水，悸动和激情。
有过痛楚的人，才懂得如何用尽生命去歌唱......
很想很想练琴了，或许只有它才能替我哭泣。
January 22 混乱......越深究，越荒谬......It hasn't been enough, or it has been too much! Life is in contradiction. January 19 简单... Wanna simplify everything that cannot be tackled with logic. To friendship to love...sometime i don't understand am i benig weird or what? Dream a little dream, don't u think there is not many unbearable things? Trying so hard to do things in the best interest for most ppl, but is it only what I consider the best for all? Possibly I am a day dreamer. Things are not always nice and easy. If I am being too naive ,and neglect your feelings I am very sorry. I shouldn't have over simplified, or craving others got the same philosophy. But sorry again, I am not ready to change what I think it's right for others. Or in some days, we will reach an agreement and accpet who we are in mind. Um...luv u, frds, after all. We have to admit every differences rihgt?
P.S. Miss mama,papa, and irreplaceable Ning. January 10 Back It's not excat to say I am feeling being reborn, but after the talk, yup, I am so much better. Thank you for giving me the chance to express myself. And I will try my best for you to be your frd, goody. At this moment , what I hope is to do the best of myself and shine. It won't be too long till summer comes. January 09 Lily Allen 续旁边写的东西。虽然新专辑保留了她俏皮的风格，但是少了锋芒毕露就觉得有少了些趣味。习惯了她这个mean girl唱着尖酸刻薄的歌词，带着少许挖苦的腔调。在这新碟里唯一让我找到一点mean girl影子的歌是'Fuck You' ——fuck you very very much...不是说那个f字头开始的词有多震撼，只是个中黑色幽默需要听众慢慢体会。而且我也不是很喜欢她的新编曲，太多电子效果了...that ruins her voice!喜欢旧碟的怀旧风格，ldn中harmon organ phunky jazzy的声音。做人稍微能把mean那捏到恰到好处，也是一种风格。可能我本身自己也是这么一个带点刺的人，这张新专辑让我找不到太多共鸣。um...这次省着7镑95买零食！
P.S:把space的歌换成我最喜欢的她的littlest things。Mean girls也不是只喜欢玩，也不是never be serious.心灵小小的角落，她们同样渴望被理解,只是通常他不会让别人触及到那柔软的部分。只有那些她们最信任的人才可以be letted in.在那个角落里every littlest thing makes a difference.
I don't know why I trusted you, but I knew that I could...
It seems, it seems that I can't shake those memory...
January 04 God bless this messSee, What a mess I have made. You are a great great guy. After everything has happened, I never regret. I am so graceful about what you have done. Bless you always. January 02 2008--〉2009The greatest and the worst things happened in the same day, which tore me apart. Every moment, I told myself to chill and to stop. I have realised the pain in every way precisely for a long time, but I have chosen to leave it there. Is it so called obsession?Hum... But the truth is when you immersed in love's encounter, the heaven merge with hell. Lord...plz pull me back to the ground again! December 24 The hilarious lifeThe first yr in the uk, everything was so fresh, and I even enjoyed the little moment in a gloomy rainning day.
The second yr in the uk, u just didn't know what's wrong wif this country. No joking...Economy has been shrinking. Teenagers were so not mature. Yet, I would rather still believe that it shines, maybe, in some other ways to live up to its old glorious days.
The third yr in the uk, omg...just fuck it,No matter what is or going to happen. Ya, have to live with it. Not going home to stay with my lovely family this Xmas holi. It is the first time ever in my life. But I just realised that there are something loosing and something gained everyday. Dear papa and mama, u will understand, i am sure, the better is yet to come. Have to bear the pain, the loneliness, the sentimentality... Hug u guys for a thousand times from a thousand miles away.
After all, no matter how British I am turning in to, nah, this is not home. And never will be... December 14 Both sides nowBows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air and feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at cloud that way. But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone. So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way. I've looked at clouds from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's cloud illusions I recall. I really don't know clouds at all. Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel as every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way. But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go and if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away. I've looked at love from both sides now, from give and take, and still somehow it's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all. Tears and fears and feeling proud to say I love you right out loud, dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way. But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed. Something's lost but something's gained in living every day. I've looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose, and still somehow it's life's illusions I recall. I really don't know life at all. my last unbreakable castleEmpty Space, Empty heart, dose it necessarily mean that I can erase my mind as well? Just give me that diny little dark space. U don't have to safe me. Don't have to wake me up before u go. The darkness make me feel safe.I am so tired of being here in the real world, supressing all my childish fears. Why your presence still lingers here. But still, I made up my mind to go down this ship? yup...don't u dare accuse me for it... November 01 Being sentimental... 好久没有碰过space,说过不要写的...可是不知道为什么心血来潮。只是想忏悔一下。
突然觉得自己是一个异常mody的人，这样不好。应该是想得到的得不到，所以有失落感。还是太习惯周围的人都会迁就我？不过my frds,我绝对会躲起来mody,不应该让你们来承受我的脾气。如果，我不小心伤害了你们，forgive me.
人是一种很奇怪的动物，人与人之间的关系又是多么微妙。我们需要别人的关注，又需要自己的空间。我需要独立思考的时间，却又怕在自己的世界里飞得太久，这样只会更加孤独。或许我没有权力说自己孤独，因为只有天才才有享受孤独的权力。
近来变得话多了，不知道是不是好现象。到底有没有必要说了这么多没有point的话？做人太cocky会惹人讨厌。但是急于自我剖析，而让人明白自己这确实不是什么好现象。还是一句话，如果你明白我的，谢谢你，喜欢我的，谢谢你，讨厌我的，也谢谢你。
我总是想让自己尽可能保持理智，参杂太多感情的东西，我真的handle不了。这些是多么让人疯狂的事，你没有办法从正常的角度理解。因为有了喜好，有了欲望，自私的念头从此而生。我不想这样，想尽量给与我的关怀，想尽量share一切......可是才发现真的做不到，原谅我的自私，有些东西我真的没有办法分享。
什么东西是属于你的？你拼命争取来的。什么东西是不属于你的？也是你拼命争取来的。生命没有一处不存在在这样的矛盾性。
总是希望有人可以陪我一起解决这些为什么。或许我不应该再去问为什么，用双眼静静地观察就好了。
Oh Lord, hear my pray,
Oh Lord, hear my pray,
When I am lost, come to me .
Oh Lord hear my pray,
Oh Lord hear my pray,
Come and listen to me...
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